I could already feel this week being a slow one judging by the pace of yesterday and today. I need more strength to get through this.
We’re stronger in the places that we’ve been broken.
Two hours of sleep. My head hurts.
“People change and forget to tell each other.”
Going back to my alma mater and being surrounded by some of those I have spent 12 years learning with only brought out the side of me that I thought I would never see again. It brought out my shy side and revealed the shell that I hid in before I started going to Rutgers. This is the side I dreaded the most. As much as I cherish all of the memories I have made at West, reflecting back to uncomfortable high school days makes me cringe. The thought of going back again after tonight ceases to cross my mind.
This year alone a ton of friends from high school walked out of my life without any goodbyes and yet they pretend as if everything is still normal but, to me, it’s not. Each of us grew and developed more in these past two semesters. We grew distant. The value of promised words, lessened. Communication feels forced. The shell I hid in reveals itself when I surround myself with the past. The only positive feeling is nostalgia over something that once was.
This happening doesn’t make me a glum chum but eager to move on! I have the present and whatever the future holds to look forward to. Rutgers and the incredible friendships I have made this year brought out the inner me that I’ve been so hesitant to reveal. I miss all of the nursing students and cannot wait to be back/create more memories in the hell/lifestyle that is nursing school.
Until then, I’m not saying friendships cannot be rekindled. I just question if it is worth it if after three months the drifting apart will resume?